Brooders and Wound Buddies
For all those individuals who enjoy holding on to the past because they themselves are brooders and also prefer having company for this activity, should really pull themselves together and move on with life. Wound buddies in particular should put in an extra effort in pulling themselves out of the pit of the past. Here is a brief explanation of brooders and wound buddies:
These are individuals who are literally stuck in the past. They over think about negative events that took place in life and innovatively and creatively add more negativity while brooding. They continue to brood obsessively and find a great sense of attachment to the idea of victimization. Victimization is a thought process where one entertains the inner voice that repeatedly states ‘This is unfair. Why did it happen to me?’
Brooders by character will be angry at themselves and at others. A part of the personality will blame others for the negativity they have been through and the other part will engage in self loathing. A brooder will come off as a highly negative individual, who would enjoy repeating and discussing the past while being over analytical.
As evident by the name, wound buddies are individuals who share a certain grief or misery. They tend to find great solace in the idea of sharing the details and specification of a negative event or situation from the past and tend to analyze the events through a negative lens. The worst bit about having a wound buddy or buddies is that the process of being stuck in the past finds greater depth. It is more difficult to pull out from the past when you have company there.
Wound buddies begin their friendship with a single event. They share tears and over analyze and think about the negativities that they have been through. Next they find a sense of strength and solace in the fact that they are not alone in the process. Additionally, they tend to discuss the adversities of the present as well and tend to add new elements to their sad club.
Respect for the Past
There is no doubt that several people have been through great traumas. These traumas have the capacity to send shudders down the spine and shake the soul to a great degree. Definitely there is no disrespect or denying that for several people pulling out of the past is more than a challenge. Their life might seem like a nightmare and it is true that every single day that they spend is both difficult and a fight for survival.
In Cambodia, several children and adults managed to escape the Khmer Rouge rule and were relocated in some other part of the worlds. When they were provided with art therapy, it was discovered that the gruesome events witnessed in Cambodia had left a deep impact on their minds and personalities. Their art work reflected a great deal of trauma and it is said that it took many years for them regain their normal functionality.
However, it is never impassible to leave behind the past and the old you and step into new shoes. Turning your back towards the years that have passed requires strength and support. Only individuals, who are lucky enough to attain the support of their loved ones and find a reason to snap out of the past, do so successfully.
Snap yourself out
If you are sitting and thinking about the past, brooding and cultivating lava of emotions on the inside, then it is important that you try the following. Take a rubber band and slide it on your wrist. Every time that you find yourself falling into the brooders trap, snap the rubber band and literally snap yourself out of it.
Lose the Old Belongings
Did you know that after a client undergoes a heart wrenching break up, the therapist encourages them to throw away almost everything that has an association with their relationship? This is because anything that might serve as a reminder should be thrown out so that the connection, thoughts, associations etc soon lose their strength and appeal.
Similarly, when trying to move forward in life it is important to remove and throw out almost everything that might be associated with the past. This is the bit that will help you let go of the tangibles. You also need to lose the intangibles to entirely embrace the future and build a new self. Try the following. If there is any activity that reminds you of the past, try and build a new memory over it. Replace the old one. You are creative and bold and have complete control over your life.
No one knows you better Than You
No one knows you better than you yourself. For the aforementioned tips and techniques and the other popular coping strategies, it is important to remember that only you can analyze and figure out what truly suits you. No one else knows you better but you and only you can decide whether your life is heading in the right direction or not.
No one cares for you more than you
There might be exceptions and you might be able to list the names of those who truly care for you, however know that you should always be the one to top the list every time. No one can or should care for you more than you yourself. Learn to put yourself first and see if you are coming in the way of your own growth and evolvement.
Don’t rehearse your grief!
Lastly, learn not to rehearse your grief. It might come off as an engaging past time, but in reality it has many negative psychological consequences. Losing self confidence, felling low, feeling angry with oneself and others, losing hope etc are all ways in which you slowly and gradually erode your shiny inner self away. Leave your old self behind. The one that broods and over analyses the past and does not see the opportunities, excitement, positivity etc of the future that waits ahead.