In order to become a capable adult and human being, you have to take and accept responsibility for everything you do and are. Don’t make excuses and stop blaming others for your failures. Stop whining about other people and the things you aren’t doing in your life. Don’t criticize other people at all for what you’ve done or haven’t. If you want to do something in life, it is up to you to do it. You are the captain of your future.
Because you are wholly responsible for your life, you must plan for happiness and success. Blames and accusations are the hallmark of an unsuccessful life: When you take total responsibility for your life, you are happier and more capable of handling circumstances. You can make choices and understand that they are responsible ones. And even when things aren’t under your control or go wrong, you can at least decide how you should react to handle the situation accordingly. You can either make an event a catastrophe or use it as a chance to learn, enhance, cherish your faith, and hold loved ones closer. The first major part of taking responsibility for your life is to know that you are responsible for it. No matter how much you try to blame other people for problems in your life, each problem is the result of the choices you have made and are still making. Listen to the small voice in your head and observe yourself while talking to friends, family, or co-workers. Can you hear yourself taking responsibility or throwing blaming on others?
- Listen to the voice in your head and then get rid of all accuses and blame. If the excuse track or blame track plays continually in your mind, you know you are moving responsibility from yourself to others.
- Listen to yourself while speaking. Do you realize you are accusing others for things that didn’t go the way you wanted? Are you blaming co-workers or your upbringing, your parents’ influence, the money you make, or your spouse? Do you make excuses for unmet goals or uncompleted tasks? By recognizing your blaming patterns, you can stop them.
- If someone you respect tells you that you blame others for your troubles and make excuses, take it seriously. Manage your defensive reaction and review examples and enhance your understanding with the friend or co-worker. If you responsibly think about feedback, you will attract even more.
Every person is responsible for his or her actions. All of them. You are responsible for your behavior and thoughts, whether unintentional or deliberate. Responsible people make mistakes, but if they do, they take responsibility for them. Here are some ways to take responsibility for yourself:
- Be accountable. Did you shout at your children at the end of a long day because you were tired and they were playing too noisily? Did you yell at your partner who was blabbing about things you didn’t really care about? Or maybe you gave an obscene gesture to a driver who cut in front of you or honked your horn because the pedestrians crossing had stopped to pick something up off the road. Even if the other person was out of line, you are responsible for what you do and how you do it. No matter what is going on around you, you always have control over your behavior and how you choose to act.
- Stop blaming (reflects what was discussed earlier above).
- Understand what happened. By acknowledging, you eliminate the need to make up ridiculous excuses. “It was my fault” is the responsible thing to say and “How can I make it up to you?” should follow that. It will make others willing to forgive you. Your honesty will earn respect.
- Focus on the positive. Live through your day with a positive mindset. Haven’t you seen how people who take no responsibility and blame others are unhappy and cynical? They also appear to have the worst luck. Whatever goes wrong they see as someone else’s fault. It’s no wonder they can’t achieve much in their lives. When you take responsibility for what you do, instead of looking at what went wrong, you focus on what went right.
- Clearly perceive yourself. You have to acknowledge both your weaknesses and strengths in order to take responsibility. By taking responsibility, you know how to use your talents, appreciate your efforts, know when you’ve done a good job, and are kind to yourself. If you are responsible, you will not belittle your achievements and will keep growing emotionally.
- Say thank you. When someone acknowledges you, accept the praise graciously by saying this simple two-letter word. When someone is thoughtful or gives you a present, the responsible response is a genuine thank you.
- Practice healthy self-focus. Mulling over your problems, worrying about the future, feeling sorry for yourself, and regretting the past can lead to indulgent self-pity. It’s beyond tiresome and totally useless. But taking the time to understand what makes you upset, in a kind, thoughtful way is the start of personal responsibility and self-love. When you fully understand your limitations, hurts, talents, and gifts, you become the best person you can, fully alive.
Many people have trouble with these concepts, and taking responsibility for yourself and your life are big steps. But you and everyone else around you will be much happier in the long run. Remember that you have to want to take responsibility for your life.
Responsible people are often very well respected, more successful happier, live longer, and have a good sense of self-worth and self-love. If you want to take more responsibility but find it too difficult, read books on the subject, talk to your family and friends, go to classes and seminars, or see a therapists in order to try to understand why you are having problems accepting your situation and making the best of it, of having trouble overcoming your pride when you’ve done something wrong.